


Just Breathe, Kid

by thepetertingle



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Pepper Potts's Biological Child, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 17:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepetertingle/pseuds/thepetertingle
Summary: Peter has a panic attack after Morgan accidentally triggers him. His father, Tony Stark, is there to make everything okay, but both he and Pepper must come to terms with their guilt. AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi readers,
> 
> This is set about a month after Endgame, the key difference being that Tony survived (as he should have!) and is Peter's biological father, as well as Pepper being his biological mother. Have a read, enjoy, and please leave a comment so I can improve my writing :)

Peter wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly. In fact, a few weeks had passed since the dusted returned, and Peter thought he was coping just fine. He had settled into the quiet life of the cabin relatively well. Of course, it was an adjustment, that of living with his four-year-old sister, Morgan, who was practically a stranger to him, and becoming accustomed to the lack of hustle and bustle that New York City usually provided. His parents still gave him glances filled with pity and concern, but Peter pretended not to notice them, smiling eagerly to set aside their worries. And there was the fact that his father was missing his arm. Peter tried to ignore that. But things were looking up. It was the summer, which meant he could relax at the lake, spend time with his family, and get to know the world again. Peter was set to return to Midtown Tech in a few months, to reunite with the half of his class that had not moved on to college and started their lives.

Yeah, Peter was okay.

Peter had woken up around 6 am, his enhanced senses picking up on some sort of irritating, repetitive music from the living room. He assumed it was Morgan watching one of the early Saturday morning cartoons that she could dance along to before being allowed to wake her parents up at 7am (Peter could never hide his smile as Tony had to, once again, sit Morgan down and tell her, "little miss, as much as I love seeing your bright face in the early hours of the morning, I would really appreciate it if you could give us until at least seven so we can try to function when we see you before coffee, okay?"). Peter groaned and pulled down the bed covers so he could get up, knowing that with the cartoon blasting the most annoying melodies, he would not be able to get back to sleep.

He crept down the hallway, cringing as the floorboards creaked, hoping he wouldn't wake his parents. Although, it was hard to imagine they would if they hadn't yet awoken from the blaring volume of the television.

Peter smiled when he entered the living room. Morgan, clad in her fluffy green pyjamas, was giggling and dancing around in front of the screen, softly singing along to the cartoon songs. It was some kids show Peter didn't recognise, but he wasn't surprised, there was five years of TV to catch up on.

"Hey Morgan, whatcha doing?"

Morgan turned around, eyes lighting up at the sound of Peter's voice. After all the stories Tony and Pepper had told about him, Morgan had taken to Peter like a fish to water. Peter was officially Morgan's favourite playmate, to which Tony had replied (much to Peter's delight), voice oozing with sarcasm, "Wow, betrayed by one of my own. That hurts, Morgana."

"Petey, they're just about to start the clicking dance, come do it with me! I can teach you, I've seen this episode tons of times!"

Peter laughed, he had no idea what the 'clicking dance' was, and although he thought it was a little too early to be dancing, he gave in, just to keep his little sister smiling.

Peter moved onto the rug. "Alright, Morgan, I'll stand over here and watch, and you follow on with the dance on the screen, then I can join in, okay?"

Morgan nodded, "Okay, Petey."

She hit play, energy bursting through her feet as she jumped slightly to and fro before the music had even started.

"Okay, Petey, first you gotta step this way, then that way."

Peter laughed and nodded, unable to contain his joy as he watched Morgan use her most bossy tone to teach him the moves. He copied her movements.

"Then you bend over, Petey, and you snap your fingers, just like this."

The air was sucked out of Peter's lungs all at once, and he froze. In an instant, it was as if all of his senses were dialled to one hundred, and his breaths became staggered and heaving. Peter clutched on to the end of the sofa, unable to stand for much longer until he collapsed into a ball on the cushions, curled up in a foetal position.

"Petey? Are you okay?"

Morgan's voice rebounded through Peter's head, each vibration stabbing painfully at his eardrums. The sofa cushions rubbed painfully against Peter's skin, and sweat was pooling on his forehead.

Snap. I'm dead. Snap. Dad's dead. Snap. Snap. Snap.

All it had taken was the click of Morgan's fingers.

"Help! Daddy, Mommy, Help!" Morgan screamed for her parents, and each shout was a knife in Peter's ears. Peter registered a door slamming open and shut, and feet rumbling down the hallway, but all the noise was agony to Peter.

Someone placed a hand on his shoulder, and Peter tensed, withdrawing in his body's torment.

"Peter, sweetie, what hurts?" It was the calming voice of his mother, but at that moment, it did little to soothe Peter.

"Everything," Peter managed to say in between his sobs.

"Pepper, I think he's having a sensory overload." This time, it was his father's worried voice.

"I'll go grab the noise-cancelling headphones." His mother said, voice dripping with concern.

Peter tried his best to tune out the almost electric buzz surrounding him, the hum of the appliances, the wind in the trees outside, but all it did was hone in on any shift in movement that rubbed excruciatingly against his skin. Peter clenched his fists against his eyes, the light becoming too much as he gasped out more and more sobs of pain. Peter knew what was happening, he'd had episodes after being bitten when his senses were just a little dialled up, but never had it been this unbearable. And never had he felt such an overwhelming sense of dread in his chest, almost as if he wouldn't survive it. Peter was terrified, but Morgan's snap kept reverberating in his head, over and over, and then it became Tony's snap, and it was about to become too much to handle when-

Peter sighed in relief as Pepper slid on the headphones, despite the burning sensation they created as they brushed over his ears. Tony had created these especially for his son after the numerous episodes Peter had before the snap. They were designed to block out noise even his spidey-senses could detect, as well as send calming electrical impulses throughout his body to de-tense his muscles.

Peter's parents knew to never touch Peter in moments like these, and as much as it pained them to not reach out and comfort their son, they stood their distance and waited until he settled down.

Peter tried to steady his racing heart, but even he knew as the effects of the sensory overload were wearing off, something was still wrong. His chest was tight, and he was struggling to maintain steady breaths.

"Dad?" Peter's voice trembled. He slowly moved the headphones off, laying them to rest gently on the couch.

"Yeah, bud?" Tony whispered, hesitant to make any abrupt sound.

"Something's wrong. I-I, I can't breathe."

Tony moved forward, inching closer to his son. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Peter's frame and pulled him into his chest. Pepper moved to sit next to them, her hand rubbing soothingly on Peter's back.

"Mom, my chest-" Peter gasped, "It's so tight, I can't move." Peter's breath continued to accelerate.

Tony and Pepper connected the dots instantly. Their son was having a panic attack. The signs were there, and both knew from Tony's experience exactly what Peter was feeling.

"Peter, you're okay, you're safe, no is going to hurt you," Tony soothed, smoothing out Peter's hair gently.

"This isn't going to last forever, it's gonna go away soon, I promise, bud. I want you to try and take a deep breath and count to four, then let it out for four. I'll do it with you."

"O-o-okay."

Pepper, seeing Tony had a handle of the situation, moved to take Morgan out of the room. The young girl was in clear distress as she let out fitful little sobs, unsure of what was happening to her brother. Pepper knew that although Peter had nothing to be embarrassed about, he probably wouldn't want his sister there when he broke out of his panic.

"Ready Peter? In, one, two, three, four, out, one, three, four, Let's do it again." Peter clung to Tony, each breath shuddering as he inhaled and exhaled. The pair sat for a few more minutes, Tony's voice as he counted remaining a steady beat for Peter to fixate on.

Once Tony thought Peter was relatively settled in his breathing, he moved on to the technique that worked the best to help him during his panic attacks.

"Hey, Peter, can you open your eyes, and tell me five things you can see?"

Peter moved, no longer feeling as though he was paralysed, and opened his red, raw eyes, facing Tony.

"Uh-um," Peter stuttered, "I can see you... the sofa ... the rug… the tree outside, and uh, the dining table."

Tony smiled slightly, "That's great, bud, you're doing awesome. Alright, now tell me four things you can feel."

Peter hesitated, just slightly.

"It's okay, take your time, kiddo," Tony prompted.

"I can feel my t-shirt, the rug under my feet, I can feel your arms, and I can feel a breeze on my face from the window." Peter's breathing had stabled, but Tony kept on.

"Now, three things you can hear?"

"The birds outside, the air conditioner, your heartbeat."

"Two things you can smell?"

"Thai food from last night, and your repulsive deodorant."

Tony smirked a little at that.

"One thing you can taste."

Peter sat still for a moment, thinking a little harder.

"My toothpaste."

He could feel the weight slowly lifting from his chest, the tightness unwinding bit by bit. Peter was suddenly exhausted, the adrenaline spike consuming all of his energy, and he felt like he was reduced to a drained, sluggish lump. Peter had only ever experienced something as frightening twice before, when he had been trapped under the collapsed building by Toomes, and when he'd turned to dust on Titan. Peter was ashamed to admit that this awful episode happened in the safety of the cabin, rather than in an epic battle between heroes and villains.

Tony, noticing his son had returned to a calm, though somewhat shaken state, moved Peter to lean against his side, Tony's arm wrapped around the kid's shoulders.

"If you don't feel like talking about it, that's alright, bud, but it might make you feel better," Tony lightly pressed. Unlike Tony, Peter had never taken much pressure to open up, and at this moment, Tony was thankful his son didn't possess that certain trait. Peter, like his mother, easily expressed how he was feeling, at times divulging a little too much information (Although Tony did enjoy his son's constant ramblings, finding them often humorous and endearing).

"Morgan, she was, uh-, she was doing this-" Peter stopped, inhaling a long, shaky breath.

Peter set his head down in his hands and rubbed at his eyes profusely, trying to offset the oncoming tears.

"Nevermind, it's stupid."

Tony coaxed Peter to look at him once again.

"Peter, if it's upsetting you this much, it's not stupid. I'm not gonna judge you, I just want to help."

"Promise?"

Tony grabbed Peter's other hand in his own and looked his son directly in the eyes. "I promise."

Peter relaxed back into the sofa, took in a long, weighted breath, and sighed.

"Morgan was playing some cartoon TV show. It was turned up really loud and I woke up, so I came in here and she said she wanted to teach me some dance from the episode. It was called the 'clicking dance' or something. She just bent over and snapped her fingers, and all of a sudden my senses were overloaded and I couldn't breathe, and all that was going through my head was when you snapped. I felt like I was going to lose you again, and that I was gonna turn into dust." Peter was rambling, talking quickly without pausing, and his heart was racing again at the thought of it all.

Tony wasn't surprised. After all his kid had gone through, he was expecting some sort of reaction soon enough. When Tony had snapped the gauntlet, even he wasn't sure how he survived, and to most, including Peter, when he was rendered unconscious, it had looked like he'd died. He vaguely remembered Peter shouting out for him to wake up, screaming that they'd won and, Dad, you can't leave me now. Tony had been sure that the snap would kill him, and he was prepared to do it as well, but after the help of some advanced Wakandan technology and therapy, Tony was out of the hospital within a week, on strict orders to take it easy. Tony couldn't help feeling like the luckiest guy in the world, with his wife and kids back together again. But Peter had been traumatised by the events, and Tony knew how even the smallest thing could trigger an episode, causing a spiral of panic and fear until your chest tightened so much, you couldn't breathe.

"Oh, kiddo, it's all gonna be okay. You don't ever need to feel like something like this is stupid. Panic attacks are normal, especially after what you've been through. I promise you, Pete, you and I aren't going anywhere anytime soon. The stones are gone, and that whole thing, it's all over. Now we get to focus on us, not the rest of the world. This whole summer, just us, all fun, and maybe we can sneak in some garage work if your Mom doesn't catch us, yeah? I gotta make a better arm than this one, the red and gold's getting a little old, don't you think?"

Peter grinned at the thought of getting back into lab work with his father. In just a few moments, Tony was able to make everything okay again.

"Yeah, that sounds good, Dad."

Then Tony got a serious look on his face, and pressed Peter tightly to his chest, hugging him with all the strength he could muster.

"You know I love you, kiddo."

Peter squeezed his father even tighter, head resting on Tony's shoulder.

"I love you too, Dad."

Peter pulled back and hesitated for a moment. Then he smirked and pulled out his puppy-dog eyes.

"I'm starving, can we please have some chocolate chip pancakes?"

Tony chuckled and ruffled Peter's hair. Those eyes worked wonders on him, and Tony could hardly ever say no.

"Of course, kid, whatever you want."


	2. Chapter 2

It was safe to say that Morgan was in absolute distress. One moment, she and Peter were having fun and the next he was curled up, in pain, unable to breathe. To Morgan's four-year-old eyes, the situation was frightening and just plain confusing.

Pepper, seeing Morgan was very clearly upset, moved from the sofa over to her daughter.

"Hey Morgan, let's go to the other room, I think we need to give Peter some space, so Daddy can make him feel better, okay?"

Morgan sniffled, unsure at the prospect of abandoning her brother. "But I wanna help make Petey feel better."

Pepper smiled slightly at Morgan's kindness, her heart warmed by the fact that Morgan had only met Peter a month ago and she had already taken to him so well.

"I know, Sweetie, so do I, but Daddy and Peter need to be alone so Pete can feel better. I promise we can come back when he's okay."

Morgan glanced at Peter. Peter was in her father's grasp, patting his hair down and counting to four, over and over to help Peter breathe. Seeing that whatever her Daddy was doing was working, she nodded, though still letting out a few whimpers here and there as they moved out of the room.

Morgan followed Pepper into her room, and Pepper picked her daughter up onto her lap as she rested on the bed. Pepper numbly stroked through Morgan's unbrushed bed-hair, humming a little just to distract herself. Morgan's tears continued to fall in worry for her brother.

"Mommy, what's wrong with Petey?"

Pepper sighed and turned Morgan to face her. Morgan was surprised to see that her mother was letting a few tears slip as well.

"Peter had a panic attack, sweetie. It happens when something makes you feel really scared, and sometimes you just can't control it."

Morgan stilled, confusion coursing through her head. "What made him scared, Mommy? We were just dancing."

"I'm not sure, sweetheart. But don't you worry, Daddy's gonna make Peter all better and we can figure out how to help him, okay?"

Morgan was easily assured by Pepper, accepting her Mother's words as truth.

"Maybe later I can teach him the rest of the clicking dance."

Pepper froze. Suddenly everything made sense. The sensory overload. The panic attack. She had seen Morgan do that specific dance a hundred times. It hadn't even registered to get rid of the show once Peter came home. She had lulled herself into a false sense of security, believing that every time Peter had groaned, "Mom, I'm fine," after she had questioned his well-being, that he really was fine.

The snap, without a doubt, is what had triggered Peter, and Pepper could have prevented it, had she not been so careless. But she didn't, and the guilt weighed on her more than anything else.

"Sweetie, I'm not sure that's the best idea."

"Why not?"

Pepper sighed, hoping she could explain without Morgan blaming herself.

"Well, something really scary happened to Peter, and I think the dance reminded him of it. So we might not play that episode anymore, okay?"

Morgan frowned, and her eyes began to well up. "I'm sorry, Mommy."

Pepper gathered Morgan in her arms, squeezing her tight.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, honey. We didn't know that the cartoon might upset him. It's absolutely fine, don't you worry." What Morgan didn't realise was that her mother was trying to convince herself as well.

**30 Minutes Later**

Peter was sitting out on the porch, watching the sun rise above the lake. Inside, Tony and Pepper were making pancakes, with extra chocolate chips just for Peter. Morgan was at the dining table, drawing with her crayons.

At a glance, this scene would seem normal to most. But, if one took care to observe, they would see Peter's red-rimmed eyes staring numbly out across the water, Pepper's furtive glances at Tony, aching to question him away from Morgan, and Tony's brow moulded into one of worry and concern.

Finally, Pepper couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey, Morgan, do you wanna go grab your lego set so you and Peter can play after breakfast?"

Morgan's eyes lit up instantly, and she scrambled off her chair, racing to find a lego set for her and Peter to construct.

Pepper turned to Tony, placing the bowl of batter down on the bench. She took his hand, biting down on her lip.

Tony continued to stare out the kitchen window, his eyes remaining distant and troubled. He raised his other hand, rubbing at his eyes, and cleared his throat.

"There was an episode of cartoons Morgan was watching, off of the hard-drive. It had some stupid dance, Morgan was trying to teach it to Peter." Tony paused, trying to find the right words.

"For one of the moves, Morgan snapped her fingers. Set Peter off. He's alright now, I think. Just getting a little air." Tony's voice cracked.

"I thought that might be it. Morgan told me what happened."

Pepper slowly guided his chin with her finger so that he was looking at her, and his face fell.

"I feel like I've failed him, you know? It's my fault. I screwed him up. I should've done better. Should've fought harder. So he could be normal. But he's stuck with this. He missed out on five years, Pep, five years of his life, of us." Tony's voice became strangled. "Five years with his sister."

Tony squeezed Pepper's hand harder.

"And after all of that, we get a second chance, and what does he get? A life where the world has moved on and he's stuck having panic attacks, thinking that at any moment, he'll turn back into dust. What kind of fair is that? What kind of father am I?"

Pepper took him into her arms, cradling his head and gently moving her hand over his shoulder blades in comfort.

"You're a great father, Tony. We all make mistakes. Hell, I've seen that cartoon hundreds of times and I never thought to delete it. I don't know hoe I could have been so thoughtless, but... We can't change the past," Pepper paused, considering her words. "Well, not for these kinds of things, anyway, but don't you ever doubt yourself as Peter's dad. You saved him. You saved all of us, knowing you could die trying. Life isn't fair, and Peter hasn't come away undamaged, but who has? We just have to focus on moving forward, and help each other pick up the pieces."

Tony sniffled a little and pulled back from her embrace. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"How do you do that?"

She smiled sadly, smoothing out Tony's hair across his forehead with her thumb. "Do what?"

"Make everything seem simple and feel okay again."

Pepper chuckled, her laughter slightly broken. "It's my superpower, a little underwhelming, but hey, does the trick, doesn't it?"

Tony smirked, pulling her back into his chest.

"Sure does."

The moment was interrupted as a rumble of little footsteps emerged from the hallway.

"Daddy, look, I found a Star Wars one, Petey's favourite! Do you think he'll wanna play?"

Tony laughed, wiped away his tears. Breaking away from Pepper, Tony walked over and ruffled her hair. "I'm sure he will, why don't you go outside and tell your brother the pancakes will be ready soon?"

"Okay!" And she was off again, her little legs racing out the door to the porch.

The couple glanced out the window, catching Morgan cheekily pull out the lego set from behind her back. Peter mock gasped and rose from his chair, throwing Morgan over his shoulder and tickling her on the stomach. Morgan's uncontained giggles floated through the door that was slightly ajar in the kitchen. Pepper and Tony smiled at each other, before moving to make the pancakes.

Yes, things were going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what'd you think? Please leave a comment and have a great day :)


End file.
